


Love and Longing

by skuldchan



Category: Phoenix Wright
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-01-28
Updated: 2008-01-28
Packaged: 2017-10-15 05:52:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,135
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/157685
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/skuldchan/pseuds/skuldchan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Written for the kink meme prompt:</p><p><i>I'd like to see Phoenix/Miles actually dealing with the phrase "I love you."</i></p><p><i>I've always visualized their relationship as pretty much an unspoken thing that never gets explicitly discussed, even during sex. Like, it's not that important to them to establish things, you know? But maybe one day something unsettles Phoenix and he feels the need to say it. I don't know.</i></p>
    </blockquote>





	Love and Longing

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the kink meme prompt:
> 
>  _I'd like to see Phoenix/Miles actually dealing with the phrase "I love you."_
> 
>  _I've always visualized their relationship as pretty much an unspoken thing that never gets explicitly discussed, even during sex. Like, it's not that important to them to establish things, you know? But maybe one day something unsettles Phoenix and he feels the need to say it. I don't know._

There were three little words that Phoenix had always wanted to say, but somehow they’d never had the opportunity to slip out. Or maybe they were never said because they’d never felt the need to be voiced.

Phoenix smiled when he woke to the sensation of warm fingers traversing his torso, tracing random paths across his skin, winding in long, wandering journeys from his chest to his abdomen and further down still.

“’Morning,” Phoenix murmured, propping himself up on an elbow.

“’Morning,” came the quiet reply, accompanied by one of Miles’ soft smiles, the kind that Phoenix had never seen outside of the privacy of their own moments.

Phoenix wanted to say it then, as he reached a hand down to brush Miles’ hair out of his eyes, as his hands wandered to cup Miles’ cheek fondly, as Miles leaned into his caress, his eyes closing. Phoenix stilled, stretching the moment on for as long as he could. Then it ended, just as suddenly as it had begun, and Miles opened his eyes again, pressing a kiss to the tips of Phoenix’s fingers before turning his attention back to other parts of his body, which apparently had been awake longer than he had.

Phoenix had considered letting those words slip out in the middle of sex. He wondered what it would be like for him to dig his fingers in Miles’ hair and just let those words escape in the same easy way that he murmured “Miles, Miles, Miles,” over and over again. He wondered what it would be like to press against Miles from behind, slipping inside him slowly while he simply breathed the words into Miles’ ear. Phoenix wondered if he should say them the times when Miles insisted on tying his wrists to the bedpost, or if he should whisper them to Miles’ lips when their kisses parted and they were sometimes left gasping for breath. Maybe it was just all right to leave them unspoken between them, because even if they weren’t floating in the air, Phoenix could see them reflected in Miles’ every smile, and feel them every time Miles laid his head down on his chest and wrapped an arm around his waist.

Phoenix wanted to say them when Miles lowered his head and opened his mouth, but he lost the chance when his breath hitched, when his entire body tensed and all thoughts—words and otherwise—fled his mind.

They climbed into the shower together sometime after Phoenix had come, calling Miles’ name and Miles, still aroused had just given him a satisfied smile and pulled him up to give him a kiss. Phoenix said it in his head when he got to his knees, the warm water from the shower cascading over his back as he nuzzled Miles’ member, giving its underside a playful, lazy lick with his tongue before he took it inside his mouth, and stifled all the words that he was thinking he might say.

He thought of saying them as he toweled himself off, as he watched Miles rummage through the closet for a fresh shirt, the towel around his waist falling to the floor. Miles turned around again and grabbed for it quickly. Phoenix wanted to say it then, to embrace Miles from behind and whisper those words into the back of his neck.

Phoenix thought of it all during breakfast, all during the ride to work, and all during the day when he sat in his office chair, chin propped up on his arm as he stared out his window without really seeing, just elsewhere, in a world where he woke up by Miles’ side every single morning, and saying those three words all the time didn’t seem like such difficult thing.

Phoenix rehearsed how he might finally say it. He tried it rushed, he tried it proud, he tried it soft and warm and maybe in the middle of tears, and every way he tried, it sounded great, it sounded acceptable, it sounded almost like it should, but it never quite sounded right. Phoenix was in the middle of writing it down on paper, in capitals, in cursive, in his regular, barely legible scratch, when the phone rang and he jumped, dropping the pen.

“Hello?”

“Hi, it’s me.” Miles’ tone was stiff, business-like, even if the words he said somehow weren’t. “I’m going to have to stay late tonight, so don’t wait on me for dinner.”

“Oh, all right. I’ll just take the bus, then.”

“Are you sure?”

Phoenix smiled. “Yeah, I’m sure. Just don’t push yourself too hard tonight, okay?”

“Okay. I’ll see you later.”

“Bye.” Phoenix paused before he put down the receiver. He could have said it there, but for some reason, he didn’t feel like he ought to say it for the first time over the phone, because that was almost like cheating, and also because he wanted to see the look on Miles’ face when he finally did.

The apartment was quiet when Phoenix got home, and he spent the rest of the evening on the couch listening to music, his hands folded behind his head, wondering if he’d ever say those three words to Miles at all. Would anything between them change, if he just said three little words? Would anything between them change if he didn’t?

He must have drifted off to sleep, because it was dark outside and he was still on the couch when he heard the key turn in the lock. A moment later the door creaked open and Miles stepped through, a look of concern on his face as he set down his briefcase and his keys, shrugged off his suit jacket and hung it up in the closet.

Miles cracked a small smile when Phoenix stirred, rubbing his eyes.

“’Evening,” Miles said, taking his shoes off and loosening his cravat.

“More like ‘night,” Phoenix corrected softly as he yawned and rose from the couch, making his way to where Miles stood. “It’s pretty late already.”

“I know,” Miles said, with a tired, tight sigh. “But work is work. It’s been a pretty frustrating day.”

Phoenix grinned. He leaned forward and hooked his arms around Miles’ neck, and gave him a short, small kiss. Phoenix pulled away. He breathed, he blinked. And suddenly, everything fell into place.

“Well, I love you.”

Miles chuckled. “Nick, you sure know how to make a guy feel good after a long day.”

Phoenix shrugged. “I do my best, I think.” He laughed and leaned in for another kiss—this one longer, fuller, deeper—and when he parted from Miles, they still held on, arms wrapped around each other, their foreheads pressed together, for the moment, content just to rest.

Phoenix closed his eyes. “I love you.”

Silence.

A heartbeat.

“I love you too.”


End file.
